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20. 06.24


last night i realized my parents constantly redirecting my negative emotions and forcing me to forgive them whenever they made me upset, never letting me just feel upset, may tie into my unwillingness to face or confront any bad thing in my life or in myself

20. 06.24


i want a tattoo on my upper chest and shoulders where it's like a mass of worms, also want to make a raw meat shirt

20. 06.24


i think i sleptwalk last night and the only thing i did was take my phone and put it on my bed. maybe because i set the alarm and i just shut the alarm off while sleepwalking?

19. 06.24


i think i'm becoming a nature enjoyer... just need to find a way to chill outside without other people bothering me. I want to rearrange my drawings page to look more like a gallery.

18. 06.24


a demon possessed my tumblr and now i keep seeing otherworldly insane discourse on my tl, i have to get off that website and delete my account...

19. 06.24


idk if I can draw a playground set...I really need to practice backgrounds again, I'm like just below the acceptable level for drawing bgs. Arggg, life is pain..art is pain...but i go through. Wonder what I should eat for breakfast...hmmmm, have no idea.

17. 06.24


I wanted to make the website for the red eyed sheet more unique...like, I want to give an air of feeling trapped and maybe acheive this by having the pages contained in a little box and have some other stuff going on in the background, maybe I could even make something cool happen with the box thing? I'm not really good at coding to do anything like that though.

16. 06.24


putting pages of my comic on pinterest feels like a good marketing ploy, god i hate that word..."marketing" I might join artfight

15. 06.24


fuck a yumejoshi / put her body pillow in the cuck chair

i stole this from a tumblr post

15. 06.24


My paranoia won and I put tape over my laptop camera :c...Also I added a cover for the red eyed sheet teehee

13. 06.24


Before I had a bit of a "drawing characters in old historical english dresses" and now I'm going through more of a "draw characters in micromini bodycon dresses with super revealing dresses" thing, I've been through this before actually.

13. 06.24


Been having a lot of fun with monotype printing but drypoint printing has been harder (i have no proper tools so I'm just using a box cutter and poster colors), I wanna make a youtube video about making comics but I don't want to put my voice out there so it might jsut be a blog post or whatver

12. 06.24


thinking of adding a comment box to my comic website (i moved it the red eyed sheet to another site) but I'm scared of hate, but I want a way for people to say what they want even if they're shyyyyy. Also an "extra" section with all additional content like fun facts and a list of songs for the comic or whatever...I love reading the process and thoughts of artists on their art and listening to interviews so I want to make something like that just incase someone likes my comic enough to want that... My songs for the red eyed sheet are currently only "petals" and "nobody's daughter" both by hole... I dont listen to much music though so I might add more from reccomendations or just finding new music. Daisy would be suchh a hole fan if she litened to music or did anything other than draw (before the events of the plot) hehe.

11. 06.24


Ive always been very wary of the information I disclose online. Anyways, I've been very interested in printmaking (specifically monotype because it seems so simple)...

11. 06.24


I've gotten so weak that just changing out my cat's litter and putting it in the trash makes mee sooo fucking hugry my stomach aches from my hunger.

10.06.24


Tumblr has been pissing me off these days so I might leave but all my fav artists are on there so i'm scared, wish everyone would make a neocities or just a website for their art so i wouldnt have to stay on there. anyways, i'm trying to learn javascript but it's hard. I've finished inking page 123-ish of the red eyed sheet by the way, i think i might need like another month to fully finish it. The ending I wrote is definitely gonna take like 50 more pages, I hope It's not too long. I stopped drawing pages on thursdays and the weekend to make my workload less.

07.06.24


This morning I woke up three times. The first time my sour spit was on my cheeks and my mouth tasted like acid, I washed it off drank a glass of water and went back to bed. The second time I woke up and the area attaching my torso to my legs and my crotch hurt so fucking bad, they were horribly sour, I tried to unfold them and get out of my side-sleeping position and it felt like bending the leg of a wooden mannequin back the wrong way. I went back to sleep after that and had a cosmically embarrassing dream where I went back to my elementary school in disguise and one of my teachers who's memory I've tarnished into a blade to torture myself became my tutor somehow. The third time I woke up I laid in bed for a bit then felt the most horrible piercing crawling punching cold-steel pain in my upper stomach like the lingering feeling of a giant's spiked fist punching me across the room. So my stomach pain continued and the whole day and I had a headache too. Literally save me. I'M HAVING A STOMACHACHE RIGHT NOW OWWW NOOOO

31.05.24


Thinking of implementing more Javascript in my website, I don't really know javascript (the code for my writing page was copy and pasted from w3schools), but yeah. I want to change my "promo" page to something else because "promo" feelsl too monetary, but I don't know what, I also want to seperate into sections. Like, websites, music, comics, motion picture... yeah. Maybe "index"? I saw someone else use the word index. Oh I've got it. "Compendium". Wait no. That's not right. Maybe..."menu"? as in food? That's cute enough right?

30.05.24


Bought "homesick for another world" by Ottessa Moshfegh, I love her work to bits and I'm at the fouth story but it's all been excellent stuff. I think all her characters feel really human and her style writing is simple but enjoyable. I need to porperly arrange the scenes for my planned comic ending real quick today....

30.05.24


tumblr is getting annoying to use so I might delete my account on there soon but tumblr is the only place I gave access to my favorite artists and the one other netkama punch fan on tumblr who posts about it...

29.05.24


About the manhwa "let's hide my little brother"....I think I don't like it because I would much prefer reading the original novel mc reincarnated into rather than the actual story. I actually read it a really long time ago and I always really liked the brown-haired guy and the ml's weird situationship before mc drops in. Also the concept of a man desiring to be a princess and seeing themself in the princesses trapped in towers in fairytales and wanting a prince is nice. I dunno, I guess it's obvious I'd rather read a story about evil gay guys fighting rather than anything else lol. It just reminds me too much of stories and news headlines of "gay man turns to jesus and is saved", so I can't like it. This is just my own bias though. It's probably fine for most people. I think I'm too much of a fan of gnc-ness and depravity to like it...

29.05.24


I really enjoy netkama punch as a manhwa because of how the main characterss relationship (shin heejae and kim seyeong)is both so bad and good at the same time. I might write a blog post on it...but my articulation is still a problem. Anyways, I think it could be vastly improved if Kim Seyeong was 40+ years instead of 24 years old #silvercatfuckers.

29.05.24


I don't really understand the concept of dating someone just for their looks, or how that would work at all. Relationships require spending time together and like, talking. I think 'dating someone for their looks' is usually just dating someone because dating that person will make you look, socially better? Dammit this is literally why I can't write anything I keep coming up with counterarguments to my own point (I'm cursed). I can't articulate any of my arguments against my own point right now so...

28.05.24


It's literally 11 pm right now so I might as well date this as the 29th, but I won't. Three things I have to say: 1. I need to learn Javascript. 2. I kind of hate it when writing in websites is fully spread across the screen because my eyes have trouble following the words if they're formatted like that and I end up losing my way through the story, this is why my website is currently centered... 3. I feel like people critiquing trendy dark romance booktok books as romanticizing abuse and "hating women" are all wrong. The books are written by women with masochistic fantasies (which is okay) made for women with masochistic fantasies to read them. Okay, I'll expand on this later in my blog. Let me write a blurb on it and search up how to do jss real quick.

28.05.24


So...huge revamp! I felt kind of dissatisfied with my neocities profile for a bit of time so I decided to change it to this, I realized I preferred understated and "minamalist" aesthetics for websites. I'm changing this part to my "microblog" as in this is my replacement for posting on social media. I want to make a spacehey but my last experience using it it was really slow (could've been my problem because the wifi in my area was randomly broken for a bit). I might go back to it though. Also! I didn't want it to just be gone so you can look at my old diary/blog section here