everytime i eat mushrooms i'm scared that the mushrooms are secretly some kind of highly poisonous diarheea vomitting mushroom, also banana milk is the best drink everrr so yum
the first anime i watched was assasination classroom because i saw a clip of nagisa crossdressing on youtube and went crazy, also because the whole thing was on youtube lawl
beat a robot at checkers in 2:33 minutes in hard mode, take that you stupid robot. explode !!!
sorry for no new art, i'm in kinda an artblock, all i've been drawing is cutesy moe stuff
i just want people to accept my eating disorder as a part of me and don't try to change or help me, cause they're not gonna cure my anorexia just by nagging me about eating more...i get that they're concerned but i just want to be treated like im normal
i want sebyeok and heejae (avater) to fight with their boobs (netkama punch)
watched season 1 of the good place today, also i kind of believe that the world that is directly visible to me revolves around me, but don't take that seriously.
i'm gonna make a netkama punch fan site for me to yap and show my love
i'm sorry that i haven't been uploading any drawings lately, i'm outta acrylics and i've been yearning for them so my yearning for them is being directed to my gouaches and i hate my gouaches now. also, my white gouache paint is out >.<
the death penalty: it's not ok for this guy to kill people but it's ok for us to kill people
maybe the reason I take so long and so much self-convincing to get up my ass is because my vision goes to black whenever i walk up two flights of stairs
i have a crush on d.b. cooper
thinking of rearranging my home page a bit, just to spice it up. I'm getting kinda bored with the look of my site
dom vehicle: carpet? where?
i could never have a baby cause i'd eat it
sometimes I watch these tiktok art drama videos and all I can think is how much the creator needs to get off social media... I feel bad because some of them are teenagers and they're getting so caught up in internet drama when they should doing fun stuff instead idk
i need to throw my phone into the ocean, lock it in a safe..., then i will live my glorious life full of smelling flowers, fresh air, sleep, painting, and jorkin off. Also i got a haircut today and I realize I'll probably shave my head bald in like, 2 years, when i lose my fear + have more strength + get tired of my sexy haircut rn
most of my dreams nowadays are just me doing stuff i'll do in the morning after i wake up, i frequently onfuse them with reality l
thinking of adding chapter pages to the red eyed sheet, i really see the story was only 3-4 parts to be honest... i'll figure it out l
nghhhh neo impressionismmmmmmm {drooling emoji}{moaning emoji}
in my life, there has been periods of time, mostly spanning a week, that i have accepted myself as a trans person. But always, near the end, I bargain with myself, life is so hard for trans people you know? It was just always easier and felt more safe to remain cis. i dont know what i want anymore, when i look at myself in the mirror, I'm okay with how i look, but i fantasize about looking another way. im ok with looking the way i do now, but i just, i dont know. i'd be happier if i looked like the genderi wanted.
my biggest fear is heights, i dont know why because i knew if i fell off something tall to my death I'd resign to my death pretty quickly and die regretful but calm, but i'm still scared of heights
my art is suddenly bad this week, i think am growing...
was scrolling through the tumblr profile of a dude and suddenly felt very saddened and miserable that i'd never be him. Just so jealous of how he looks, i wish i was tall and less soft looking. His art is so good too...
isekai protagonist with bpd / in a another world sabotaging my relationships~ I lost my harem because I got really scared and started lashing out for no reason!?
i watched i saw the tv glow..it was soo fucking good / i think the reason my gouache paitnings look so watercolor-y is because I use too much water... / one of the keys of starting to love yourself is being attracted to people who look like you. i used to be insecure about my flabby arms but then i started being attracted to girls with flabby arms so i didnt care anymore.
can't beleive ive read two books where the main characters were red heads now. (boy parts and a certain hunger) / been playing with gouache...i think it's kinda annoying to use but i'm using it
I actually love my comic "girlboss wife" a lotttt, i want to make a proper rehash of it with more cleaned up art. I just lovee girlboss (she has no name), she's so funny and i love her characterrrr, also her husband is a version 0.1 of another oc i have...they're in my art gallery, they're the skinny lookin guy... very skinny. Emaciated, even.
gender-essentialism and bio-essentialism are diseases to society. I lovee drawing a good sexy pair of pants with a ton of lines in it. / can u believe i use to think the red eyed sheet would only be 80 pages. i think it's gonna be...it's gonna be like 200-230 pages i bet, gott whyyyy, atleast the 3rd portion will let me experiment with the art style a lot (hinting to cooler things:3)
one of the first comics i ever made was a 3 panel jon arbuckle x lyman comic.
major site renovations probably coming soon. it's gonna have a more.."open" feel...
I want to make a jeff the killer retelling
my website looks so fucking bad on mobile its embarrassing...
last night i realized my parents constantly redirecting my negative emotions and forcing me to forgive them whenever they made me upset, never letting me just feel upset, may tie into my unwillingness to face or confront any bad thing in my life or in myself
i want a tattoo on my upper chest and shoulders where it's like a mass of worms, also want to make a raw meat shirt
i think i sleptwalk last night and the only thing i did was take my phone and put it on my bed. maybe because i set the alarm and i just shut the alarm off while sleepwalking?
i think i'm becoming a nature enjoyer... just need to find a way to chill outside without other people bothering me. I want to rearrange my drawings page to look more like a gallery.
a demon possessed my tumblr and now i keep seeing otherworldly insane discourse on my tl, i have to get off that website and delete my account...
idk if I can draw a playground set...I really need to practice backgrounds again, I'm like just below the acceptable level for drawing bgs. Arggg, life is pain..art is pain...but i go through. Wonder what I should eat for breakfast...hmmmm, have no idea.
I wanted to make the website for the red eyed sheet more unique...like, I want to give an air of feeling trapped and maybe acheive this by having the pages contained in a little box and have some other stuff going on in the background, maybe I could even make something cool happen with the box thing? I'm not really good at coding to do anything like that though.
putting pages of my comic on pinterest feels like a good marketing ploy, god i hate that word..."marketing" I might join artfight
fuck a yumejoshi / put her body pillow in the cuck chair
i stole this from a tumblr post
My paranoia won and I put tape over my laptop camera :c...Also I added a cover for the red eyed sheet teehee
Before I had a bit of a "drawing characters in old historical english dresses" and now I'm going through more of a "draw characters in micromini bodycon dresses with super revealing dresses" thing, I've been through this before actually.
Been having a lot of fun with monotype printing but drypoint printing has been harder (i have no proper tools so I'm just using a box cutter and poster colors), I wanna make a youtube video about making comics but I don't want to put my voice out there so it might jsut be a blog post or whatver
thinking of adding a comment box to my comic website (i moved it the red eyed sheet to another site) but I'm scared of hate, but I want a way for people to say what they want even if they're shyyyyy. Also an "extra" section with all additional content like fun facts and a list of songs for the comic or whatever...I love reading the process and thoughts of artists on their art and listening to interviews so I want to make something like that just incase someone likes my comic enough to want that... My songs for the red eyed sheet are currently only "petals" and "nobody's daughter" both by hole... I dont listen to much music though so I might add more from reccomendations or just finding new music. Daisy would be suchh a hole fan if she litened to music or did anything other than draw (before the events of the plot) hehe.
Ive always been very wary of the information I disclose online. Anyways, I've been very interested in printmaking (specifically monotype because it seems so simple)...
I've gotten so weak that just changing out my cat's litter and putting it in the trash makes mee sooo fucking hugry my stomach aches from my hunger.
Tumblr has been pissing me off these days so I might leave but all my fav artists are on there so i'm scared, wish everyone would make a neocities or just a website for their art so i wouldnt have to stay on there. anyways, i'm trying to learn javascript but it's hard. I've finished inking page 123-ish of the red eyed sheet by the way, i think i might need like another month to fully finish it. The ending I wrote is definitely gonna take like 50 more pages, I hope It's not too long. I stopped drawing pages on thursdays and the weekend to make my workload less.
This morning I woke up three times. The first time my sour spit was on my cheeks and my mouth tasted like acid, I washed it off drank a glass of water and went back to bed. The second time I woke up and the area attaching my torso to my legs and my crotch hurt so fucking bad, they were horribly sour, I tried to unfold them and get out of my side-sleeping position and it felt like bending the leg of a wooden mannequin back the wrong way. I went back to sleep after that and had a cosmically embarrassing dream where I went back to my elementary school in disguise and one of my teachers who's memory I've tarnished into a blade to torture myself became my tutor somehow. The third time I woke up I laid in bed for a bit then felt the most horrible piercing crawling punching cold-steel pain in my upper stomach like the lingering feeling of a giant's spiked fist punching me across the room. So my stomach pain continued and the whole day and I had a headache too. Literally save me. I'M HAVING A STOMACHACHE RIGHT NOW OWWW NOOOO
Thinking of implementing more Javascript in my website, I don't really know javascript (the code for my writing page was copy and pasted from w3schools), but yeah. I want to change my "promo" page to something else because "promo" feelsl too monetary, but I don't know what, I also want to seperate into sections. Like, websites, music, comics, motion picture... yeah. Maybe "index"? I saw someone else use the word index. Oh I've got it. "Compendium". Wait no. That's not right. Maybe..."menu"? as in food? That's cute enough right?
Bought "homesick for another world" by Ottessa Moshfegh, I love her work to bits and I'm at the fouth story but it's all been excellent stuff. I think all her characters feel really human and her style writing is simple but enjoyable. I need to porperly arrange the scenes for my planned comic ending real quick today....
tumblr is getting annoying to use so I might delete my account on there soon but tumblr is the only place I gave access to my favorite artists and the one other netkama punch fan on tumblr who posts about it...
About the manhwa "let's hide my little brother"....I think I don't like it because I would much prefer reading the original novel mc reincarnated into rather than the actual story. I actually read it a really long time ago and I always really liked the brown-haired guy and the ml's weird situationship before mc drops in. Also the concept of a man desiring to be a princess and seeing themself in the princesses trapped in towers in fairytales and wanting a prince is nice. I dunno, I guess it's obvious I'd rather read a story about evil gay guys fighting rather than anything else lol. It just reminds me too much of stories and news headlines of "gay man turns to jesus and is saved", so I can't like it. This is just my own bias though. It's probably fine for most people. I think I'm too much of a fan of gnc-ness and depravity to like it...
I really enjoy netkama punch as a manhwa because of how the main characterss relationship (shin heejae and kim seyeong)is both so bad and good at the same time. I might write a blog post on it...but my articulation is still a problem. Anyways, I think it could be vastly improved if Kim Seyeong was 40+ years instead of 24 years old #silvercatfuckers.
I don't really understand the concept of dating someone just for their looks, or how that would work at all. Relationships require spending time together and like, talking. I think 'dating someone for their looks' is usually just dating someone because dating that person will make you look, socially better? Dammit this is literally why I can't write anything I keep coming up with counterarguments to my own point (I'm cursed). I can't articulate any of my arguments against my own point right now so...
It's literally 11 pm right now so I might as well date this as the 29th, but I won't. Three things I have to say: 1. I need to learn Javascript. 2. I kind of hate it when writing in websites is fully spread across the screen because my eyes have trouble following the words if they're formatted like that and I end up losing my way through the story, this is why my website is currently centered... 3. I feel like people critiquing trendy dark romance booktok books as romanticizing abuse and "hating women" are all wrong. The books are written by women with masochistic fantasies (which is okay) made for women with masochistic fantasies to read them. Okay, I'll expand on this later in my blog. Let me write a blurb on it and search up how to do jss real quick.
So...huge revamp! I felt kind of dissatisfied with my neocities profile for a bit of time so I decided to change it to this,
I realized I preferred understated and "minamalist" aesthetics for websites. I'm changing this part to my "microblog" as in
this is my replacement for posting on social media. I want to make a spacehey but my last experience using it it was really slow
(could've been my problem because the wifi in my area was randomly broken for a bit). I might go back to it though. Also! I didn't want
it to just be gone so you can look at my old diary/blog section